Here's to my first St. Patrick's Day caption!

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The local park was abuzz with the town's locals as they celebrated St. Patrick's Day. With most of the town's population originally hailing from Ireland or being second or even third generation immigrants from Ireland they would yearly throw a large, town sanctioned celebration that was open to the public. Irish music played over various speakers while people danced, drank, feasted on various irish dishes, and chatted underneath the shade of a pop-up awning.

This included Caitlyn, a second generation immigrant who had lived in this town her whole life. She danced away, letting the green skirt swish and sway with her hips, as she went from table to table trying the various delicious, homemade foods everyone brought. Colcannon, soda bread, fried cabbage, corned beef, shepherd's pie, and even apple tarts; they had it all! With her belly full of food and her mind a bit foggy from the various ales, whiskeys, and ciders she had had she made her way over to the apple tarts to snag one before they were all gone and as she approached the table she saw the small hand of a child reaching from the other side for one as well.

“Here you go little one.” Caitlyn picked up an apple tart and leaned over the table to hand it to the child. But as she placed the tart in the palm of their hand she had leaned far enough forward to peer over the edge of the table and instead of seeing an innocent child looking for sweets she made eye contact with a short, middle-aged man with unruly ginger hair adorned in a green coat and a matching Irish scally cap.

“Shite…” The little man pulled the tart he was handed away from Caitlyn and in the blink of an eye vanished in a poof of smoke.

“Hey!” Caitlyn pushed herself up from the table and sprinted to the other side where the little man had been. At first she didn’t see any signs of him but as she scanned further away from where she had been she could make out small clouds of dirt being kicked up that bee-lined directly away from her. “Wait up!”

Caitlyn chased after the trail of invisible footsteps, gently pushing her way past crowds of tipsy people so as to not lose sight of the elusive little man. He wasn’t stupid however as he tried valiantly to shake Caitlyn from his trail by dashing underneath tables or running through legs of people who got in his way. Despite this, Caitlyn kept up pace with him rather easily as she tracked the unnaturally moving tablecloths and skirts of dresses as he lifted them up in a haste. Eventually their chase left the crowded shade of the pop-up awning as it opened up to the blue clear sky and open fields of grass that sprawled over the park. A few more minutes of chasing and after clambering through a bush hedge she saw rustle and part as the little man pushed through its branches, Caitlyn had gained enough ground to put an end to their game of cat and mouse.

“Hold- on- I just- want to- talk!” Caitlyn huffed and puffed, out of breath from the awkward running she had to do to ensure she wouldn't trip and fall because of her dress. With a couple more strides she managed to grab the invisible collar of the little man's coat. “Gotcha!” She lifted him up off the ground at an arm's distance away as he kicked and struggled while his invisibility faded away.

“Put me down you daft cow! How’d you like it if I dangled you by the neck like a feral cat?!” His thick accent made it difficult for Caitlyn to make out exactly what he was saying but the various curses and threats got the point across.

“Nuh-uh, I’m not putting you down for a second! I know you’re a leprechaun and everybody knows leprechauns are tricksters and not to be trusted.”

Knowing that Caitlyn wasn’t taking his wee threats seriously the little man stopped kicking and shouting, instead choosing a more diplomatic approach as he was disrespectfully dangled by a young human woman. “What the hell are you talking about lass? Aye, we do like playing harmless pranks on ye humans but we are folk of our words. Ye caught me so I offer ye your weight in gold if ye let me go.”

“Hmm…” Caitlyn furrowed her brows and narrowed her eyes. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“Ye don’t, but ye got my word and honor.”

Caitlyn thought for a moment, unsure if she could trust the little leprechaun man but in the end she decided to hesitantly let him go. “Okay. But I better get my weight in gold plus some seeing as you stole food from the town.”

“I remember ye handing it to me but I suppose I could add a wee bit more if that’d make ye happy.”

Caitlyn, with only the leprechaun's own promise to go off of, gently lowered him back to the ground and released the collar of his jacket. “There you go.”

“Thank ye lass.” He brushed some dirt from his pants before looking up at Caitlyn and reaching into my pocket. “Just need me a handful of my magic sand and-” He threw a pocket of gold glittering sand up at Caitlyn’s face, turned, and ran.

Cough cough “You bastard! I’ll-” Cough “- I’ll wring your little neck out!” Caitlyn rubbed her eyes, clearing it free of sand and as she opened her teary eyes she could make out the little man running away, already a dozen or so yards away at this point.

“Don’t ye worry lass,” The leprechaun shouted over his shoulder back at Caitlyn, “I kept my end of the bargain. Hope ye like yer weight in sweet, white gold!”

“White-” Cough “- White gold?” Her chest softly grumbled and gurgled to itself before tearing the buttons of her dress free, sending them launching across the grass field as her breasts suddenly burst free with explosive force. They lurched forwards causing Caitlyn to bend over at the waist as they swung and dangled from her ribcage, a constant stream of milk gushing from her potato sized nipples. Her boobs were heavy and plump, swollen with an endless supply of milk which left a puddle of cream on the dirt and grass covered ground beneath her. “God, what the fuck!?” She tried to stand up straight but her back couldn’t handle having her entire weight strapped to her chest as sacks of milky breast tissue. “These are fucking heavy! You better fucking undo this!” She tilted her head up and scanned her surroundings for that bastard of a leprechaun but found that he was long gone. “Great… what the fuck am I supposed to do with these?”