Is this the best way to get over being rejected by your best friend? Probably not but it made me feel a bit better after I wrote it.

Art By: watari1118

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Hunter and Andrew found themselves sitting on a bench in the middle of the bustling mall, feet tired and sore after being on them all day. It was a fun day for the both of them, Andrew needed a ride to the mall's art display for his photography class and Hunter was more than thrilled to spend time with his best friend. But despite having a great day hanging out and grabbing lunch Hunter felt a tinge of unknown sadness deep in his chest, one that he always got after hanging out with Andrew.

“Dude, look!” Andrew jabbed Hunter with his elbow, jostling him out of his dissociative state. He followed Andrew’s arm and saw that he was inconspicuously pointing at a girl their age who had just walked by. “Isn't she cute?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah, I guess so…” Hunter mumbled his response. He had never really looked at people that way so he didn't quite get the appeal of finding someone attractive by looks alone but he’d be lying if he said he didn't find her pretty. Her small frame and elegant, flowy clothes were so drastically different from his 6’1” tall, baggy plain t-shirt wearing ass.

“God, what I wouldn't do to have a girl like that!” Andrew said as he leaned back on the bench, craning his neck as far back as it could go as he stared up at the ceiling.

“I could be that for you.” It was instant, before Hunter could process how he wanted to respond he just blurted that out. His eyes grew wide and the blood drained from his neck as Andrew slowly sat upright and looked at him confused while he softly shook his head.

“Hunter,” Andrew placed his hand on Hunter's shoulder, “don't make it weird.” He then pressed down on Hunter's shoulder as he stood up. “I gotta use the restroom, then we can head back. Sound good?”

“Oh, uh, yeah! Sure thing!” Hunter gave Andrew an awkward thumbs up which he did back to Hunter before walking off to find the restrooms. Once Andrew was out of sight Hunter let out a sharp exhale as he felt his shoulders finally untighten. “God, I’m such an idiot!” As he bent forward he placed his elbows on his knees and rested his face in the palms of his hands, letting his long, unkempt, dirty blonde hair hang around his head like a makeshift curtain in which he hid his embarrassment behind. “Why did I do that…?” While he sat there, alone on the bench trying to push down the deluge of complicated feelings he had, he felt a sudden tap on his shoulder followed by a husky yet feminine voice.

“You alright there?” Hunter looked up to see a tall goth chick standing in front of him. Her attire was nearly entirely black, save for the occasional accent color of red or purple and the queer pride pin that stuck out like an eyesore on her outfit which consisted mostly of belts. She didn’t show a ton of emotion but from what little Hunter could parse she seemed genuinely concerned.

Hunter couldn’t help but continuously glance down at her rainbow pin as he hesitated to answer her. Maybe she was the right person to talk to about this but then again she was just a stranger. He let out a deep sigh, “It’s nothing. Really.”

The woman helped herself to the vacant spot next to him on the bench, propping herself on her arms as she leaned back and crossing her boot covered legs. “Doesn’t seem like nothing.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke, instead she simply watched the bustling crowd of people busy about their lives in the mall. “Look, I’m not here to judge. I just… saw you sitting here and it reminded me of myself a few years back so I thought I’d come over here and help if I could.”

“I don’t know, it's just…” Hunter sighed, “I think I have feelings for my friend?”

“That guy I saw sitting with you a moment ago?”

Hunter hesitated for a moment before muttering mostly to himself. “Yeah…”

“So?” She uncrossed her legs just to recross them, changing which leg was on top of the other. “You’re either bi or pansexual. Tons of people are.”

Hunter found himself almost getting annoyed at her answer for some reason, but decided to continue. “It’s not that, it’s- He’s straight and I’m a guy and…” He felt himself getting choked up as an unsavory lump formed in his throat. “Something doesn’t feel right about it and I can’t put my finger on it.”

The woman, for the first time since she sat down with him, looked at him. It wasn’t much, being a simple, long side-eye directed at him but he could’ve sworn she had the biggest smirk on her face while she did so. “You want to try something?”

“I guess? I don’t really know what-”

She cut off his rambling. “Close your eyes and imagine what a relationship with him would look like. You don’t have to say anything, just let your mind do the talking.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to what she was up to but she seemed nice up to this point so he complied. He shut his eyes and tried to concentrate. “So what exactly am I doing?”

“Just relax, keep your eyes closed, and picture yourself in your perfect vision of a relationship.”

Hunter didn’t exactly know what to expect as all he saw was darkness. He had aphantasia so it wasn’t like he could actually picture anything in his head. But eventually he managed to relax, untensing his shoulders and letting his head stand freely on his neck. He couldn’t really put it into words even if he wanted to but as he let his mind wander, using the loud bustling of the mall as a sort of white noise, he thought about what a relationship with Andrew would look like. The details were rather clear, it was of him out on a date with him or sitting on the couch with his head on Andrew’s shoulders but the only thing that wasn’t clear was Hunter himself. He felt… blurry in his own perception, like something was off. He started to pick away at his insecurities one by one, his height, how broad he was, the roles his parents expected him to fill, and so on. And as he did his image of himself became clearer in his mind but he still couldn’t quite make it out. “It’s still blurry…”

“That’s okay,” The woman spoke gently, “just take your time.”

Further and further Hunter dug into himself. Was it that he never felt like he fit in? Maybe it was that his body didn’t really feel like his own? Or maybe he didn’t care for the masculine roles he had grown up with and was expected to mirror? “I think I got it…” He saw it clearly now, this version of himself that almost felt familiar in a sense manifested in his sense of self. It looked eerily like him, same hair and same eyes but as a woman. She was short, surely from his ill feelings towards being seen as tall and intimidating but he also knew that Andrew liked the small girls. More embarrassingly was the size of her chest, each tit larger than her head which the thought of actually having those caused Hunter’s insides to flutter.

“You see it now?”

“Yeah. Yeah I can!” In the midst of his life changing realization he hadn’t noticed that his feet were no longer planted firmly on the floor. Instead they dangled beneath him as he gently kicked them in the air. In fact, why did his chest feel a lot heavier than before? He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw, jutting out from his chest, were two ridiculously large and heavy breasts. “What the?” The voice that spoke wasn’t the one he was familiar with, it was high-pitched and feminine, matching his petite 4’11” tall body. When she looked to her side to ask the goth woman what was going on she saw nothing. The spot next to her was vacant save for a rainbow pin. Hunter gingerly picked them up from the bench and just as she did she felt two hands clamp down on her shoulders, startling her. “Ah!”

“You ready to go babe?” Hunter didn’t need to look at who was speaking to recognize Andrew’s voice. “What do you have there?”

“Hmm?” Hunter looked down at her balled up fist and slowly opened it to reveal the pin. “A nice lady gave this to me…” She hopped down from the bench and turned to face Andrew. She was so used to having to look down at him and that now that she was significantly shorter than him she had to instead look up at him which felt weird but oddly euphoric. Andrew held out his hand, which Hunter accepted, before beginning their trek through the mall and to her car.

“So…” Andrew lingered on that word, drawing it out as he gently squeezed down on Hunter's hand. “You have any plans for the rest of the day?”

“Hmm?” Hunter looked up at Andrew. “Not really. I cleared my schedule to drive you here.”

“I see…” With his free hand Andrew nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “My uh… parents aren’t home if you, I dunno, want something as a thank you for driving me.”

Hunter had to process what Andrew just said to her, causing her to delay her response until she got what he was hinting at. “Are you hinting at sex?” She smugly smirked up at him, causing him to get flustered and avert eye contact with her.

“You don’t have to blurt it out but… yeah…?”

“Hmm…” She could feel his eyes linger their gaze on her breasts, watching them as they bounced with each step she took. Their weight felt… nice, comforting even. Or should she say right? She guessed all three were apt descriptions for the euphoria she was basking in. “I guess so, but you’re paying for dinner.”

Andrew just chuckled. “Sounds like a deal.”