Published: May 24, 2024
My one-hundred and twenty-first caption. Punny title, couldn't resist. After a mission that puts them in contact with a Prothean artifact, Shepard and his team's lives are changed forever. A little bit of bodyswap and dextro-on-dextro action, plus a little "surprise".
All image credits go to @supersatanson. Thanks again for giving me permission to use this artwork! Also, thanks to @CatEnBoots for helping me refine this one! Make sure to check out their captions!
All image credits go to their respective artists. I have and never will claim ownership over any image I've used or modified for a caption, and I always encourage you to check out the artist and their wider body of work when possible.
It had been a long week for Commander Shepard and his crew, going back-and-forth between several Cerberus sites to recover excavation data. After nearly getting melted in a volcano on Karumto, he finally found the primary Prothean excavation site on Kopis, finding the team dead and this mysterious, round artifact. Seeing it was similar to the artifact he had found two years ago on Eletania, he touched it, expecting a vision like he had gotten all those years ago. He was instead given what felt like a massive electrical shock before passing out a split second later.
From the perspective of Tali and Garrus, Shepard’s two most trusted teammates who had been with him since the original Normandy, he was seemingly being “sucked up” into the spherical artifact. Tali tried to reach out for him, to try and stop him from being consumed, but the process went fast, and he was quickly gone. Instead of grabbing Shepard, her own hand briefly brushed against the sphere itself, causing another jolt to go through her own body just as Garrus grabbed her, trying to pull her back for her own safety. The burst of energy then flowed through both of them, mainly Tali, as the sphere violently shuttered, “exploding” harmlessly in a burst of energy before falling back to the ground, now about the size of a bowling ball. Tali and Garrus fell to the ground rubbing their heads, their vision blurred behind their respective helmets. Both now had headaches.
“Oh bosh’tet… my head… everything is spinning…” Garrus spoke in a remarkably uncharacteristic high tone, trying to reach for the shotgun Tali had just dropped. Air suddenly smelled and tasted far different to him. “…what’s going on? Where did Shepard go? Why do I sound so different?”
“All I saw was that flash, then you reaching for him.” Tali spoke in a far lower, huskier voice. She grabbed the side of her face, seemingly looking for something that wasn’t there. “Where’s my visor? Wait… something isn’t right here. Something is seriously wrong here…”
Finally able to see, the two turned to face each other, discovering that Shepard’s sudden disappearance was now the least of their problems. They both looked down frantically, seeing their bodies in full. Garrus no longer saw himself, and the same went for Tali. Both began to panic.
“I’m you?! And you’re me?!” “Garrus” squealed, feeling the edge of “his” armor collar roughly where breasts were supposed to be, then grabbing his side, finding Garrus’ sidearm instead. “We’ve… swapped bodies?! How does that make any sense?! Oh Keelah… I can’t handle this at all…”
“Wait, what about Shepard? Where did he go?” “Tali” asked, both of them turning back to face the silver ball sitting on the floor of the excavation site. Both of them feared the worst. “Oh no… no, Shepard! He can’t be gone, not like that! After everything we’ve been through…”
It didn’t take long for the swapped pair to make it back to the ship with the artifact in question, having it inspected by Mordin while Dr. Chakwas examined the pair. Miranda Lawson was skeptical of their claims to say the least, even going so far as to revisit the site herself with Jacob, but finding no body or any signs of “foul play”. Dr. Chakwas’ medical exams revealed no immediate differences between Garrus and Tali, but when she ran their brain scans from years ago against those she had just taken, the difference was finally confirmed after a second opinion from Dr. Solus. Mordin had examined the artifact as best he could, but found the silver sphere was now completely inert, no longer reacting to touch or any other stimuli at all. Miranda was forced to report to The Illusive Man that Shepard had been seemingly lost to the mysterious artifact Project Firewalker had uncovered, with two of Shepard’s, now her, specialists now also effectively “incapacitated” following the experience. Taking control of the mission now that the Lazarus Cell was missing the one thing keeping the specialists loyal and in-check, Miranda kicked out all the aliens and unaffiliated Human specialists, taking on the assignment herself alongside Jacob and others from Cerberus itself. For them, this was yet another roadblock for humanity.
“Tali” and “Garrus” were effectively left out in the wind, both of them completely stuck in each other’s bodies. Neither of them could go “home” in their current states, especially since Cerberus had taken possession of the artifact, so they decided instead to stick together, heading back to the Citadel to try and live their new lives as best they could with each other. Garrus had to get used to the reality of suited life, running regular checks on her seals and eating tasteless, decontaminated food, while Tali had to acclimatize to having no helmet, the feeling of exposure, and having skin with naturally-grown, hardened plates in it. The two had been vitriolic at best before, but being forced into close proximity every day led the two to bicker endlessly. Eventually, things began to calm down, with “Garrus” getting a job as a skilled mechanic, while “Tali” began working as a private investigator. As a Quarian, Garrus had to fight the inequality associated with her not being a “Council species”, and Tali had to deal with the high societal expectations required of the Turians. She had to be trained to fight like a Turian too, something Garrus helped her with.
After the Reaper War came and went a few years later, the two continued to live privately, reminiscing over their time spent with the legendary Commander Shepard. Tali, having once been in a relationship with Shepard, eventually moved on to Garrus, having grown to like her and her stupid jokes and jabs. They often wondered what happened to him that day, the day both of their lives changed forever, for better or for worse.
Unknown to either of them, Shepard had been there with them all along, having accidentally had his consciousness transferred into “Tali’s” backside. The artifact they had found was intended to absorb Prothean forms and preserve them until the Reapers had left the galaxy, but it had degraded after 50,000 years, leaving it broken and… unstable. Thanks to the Cipher in Shepard’s head, it had accepted him as a Prothean, but when Tali, and by extension, Garrus, had touched it immediately afterwards, it tried to put him inside the brain of the nearest “vessel”. Garrus touching her at the last minute confused the artifact, causing it to “cross” their minds, while Shepard ended up somewhere between the two. Tali, now Garrus’, rear end. Shepard had been forced to accept his new existence as two large, and growing, mounds of flesh, which only existed to be sat on or played with. Initially, he hated it, being trapped as his former girlfriend‘s jiggy ass, but he grew to love his new, simple role. He didn’t need to fight, command, or do anything anymore. His world became the inside of her suit, her smells, her sweat, it would have been overwhelming if he didn‘t already love her big butt so much before the event. He relished the feeling of being protected, squeezed, and the rare moments where he got to feel outside air…
“Geez Garrus… are you eating absolutely anything you can get your hands on these days?” Tali joked, pulling down Garrus’ suit as the two got hot and heavy together in bed. “Keelah, it's a wonder my old suit still fits at all. You could crush a Reaper and half of the Citadel with these cheeks.”
“It’s not my fault you barely ate anything years ago. It’s a wonder you didn’t starve.” Garrus shot back in an innocent tone, jutting out her ass a little farther as Tali pulled her pants down. “Who do you think will cum first this time, big guy? You may have reach, but I have way more flexibility…”